About a week ago, I had made the conscious decision to refrain from any sexual activity. This is due on part because of religious exploration.
It has been quite some time since I engaged in sexual relations with another individual. I have come to the conclusion that I wish to refrain from such practice until I am well into a committed and loving relationship. This would conclude my choice of
celibacy, but I am going one step beyond such a committment. I wish to refrain from all forms of sexually pleasuring myself. In doing so, I wish to develop a more obvious recognization between lust and love.
I find the temptation of looking at the bodies of other individuals superficial. Such superficial acts dawn upon my heart the weight of sin, though I don't necessarily believe in such sin. When I use such images or thoughts, I often feel like I have corrupted my mind, which leads to feelings of impurity.
My decision is strongly influenced by Gandhi's practice of
Brahmacharya. Though I do not believe in any particular religion, I do believe in the philosophies conceded within. I believe that renunciaton of certain desires in life devouts the mind to a more spiritual observation, and is necessary for myself to reach religious enlightenment.
My committment, I hope, is to last a year.
11:38 PM
